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The chief constable of a small English town was also an expert veterinary surgeon. One night his telephone bell rang. ”Is Mr Blank there?“ said an agitated voice. Mrs. Blank answered, yes, and inquired: ”Do you want my husband in his capacity of veterinary surgeon or as chief constable?“ ”Both. Madam,“came the reply. ”We can’t get our new bulldog to open his mouth, and – there is a burglar in it.

Anon

Puppy love: the beginning of a dog’s life.

Anon

The honeymoon is over when the dog brings your slippers and your wife barks at you.

Anon

 A man dropped over to visit a new neighbor. They were sitting in the den talking when a dog came in asked if anyone had seen the evening paper. He was handed the paper and left.

The man was astonished. ”That’s remarkable! A dog that reads!“

 ”Oh, don’t let him fool you,“ said the new neighbor. ”He just looks at the comics.“

Anon

   The fellow walked into the salon and asked for a double bourbon.

    Suddenly he looked up and realized that tending the bar, apron and all, was a large dog.

    He did a double take. ”What’s the matter?“ asked the dog. Haven’t you ever seen a dog tending a bar before?“

    ”Oh, it’s not that,“ said the fellow. ”What happened to the horse? Did he sell the joint to you?“

Anon

    He was planning a vacation and didn’t know what to do with his dog. He wrote the resort hotel and asked if dogs were allowed.

    Came the reply from the hotel manager, ”Sir, I’ve been in this business for thirty years. Never have I had to call on police to eject a disorderly dog. Never has a dog set fire to a bed with a cigarette. I have never found a hotel towel or blanket in a dog’s suitcase. No dog has ever left liquor glass rings on the furniture. Certainly, the dog is welcome!“

    The manager then added a postscript, ”And if the dog will vouch for you, just come along too.“

Anon

    ”Bartender,“ said the man at the rail, ”I want you to meet my dog. He talks. I’ll sell him to you for only ten dollars.“

     ”Who you think you’re kidding?“ said the bartender.

     The dog, tears in his eyes, looked up. ”Please buy me,“ he said. ”This man treats me cruelly. He never gives me a bone. He never bathes me. He’s always kicking me around. Once I was the richest trick dog in the country. I performed before presidents and kings. My name was in the papers every day and –

     ”So he does talk,“ said the bartender. ”But why sell a valuable dog like that for only ten dollars?“

      ”Because, said the customer, ”I hate liars“

Anon

   The boy was practicing his violin lesson in the house. His sister was playing with the family dog on the porch. As the boy scraped away, the dog howled dismally.

   Finally, the sister shouted, ”For goodness’ sake, Johnny, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?“

Anon

Dogs really are a man's best friend. It is so unfortunate that people do not always know and understand the best way to train a dog. If a dog is trained well from the very beginning, you can be sure of a long and very happy relationship. I really recommends SitStayFetch so you can make sure you do it right. Please do not make the mistake of doing the wrong thing unknowingly and with the best of intentions. Get SitStayFetch and make sure you give your loving compannion the best traing without harming him by mistake. SitStayFetch covers it all

Download SitStayFetch now. Access is instant.

   He was boring the girl to tears with his old stories when in came her new dog.

   ”Have you taught him any new tricks since I was here last?“

   ”Yes,“ she said sweetly. ”If you whistle, he’ll bring you your hat.“

Anon

   ”I feel so poorly lately,“ said the first dog. ”I’m tired all the time.“

    ”Have you thought of going to a psychiatrist?“ asked the second dog.

    ”Heavens no! I couldn’t do that,“ said the first dog. ”I’m not allowed on couches.“

Anon

    It was some years ago, of course, but one day a farmer on a hot day started to town with horse and buggy. Halfway in, the horse stopped, turned his head and said, ”Sakes alive, but it’s hot.“

    The amazed farmer turned to his dog riding beside him and asked, ”Did you hear what I heard?“

    ”Yeah,“ the dog yawned, ”but he’s like everybody else – always talking about the weather and never doing anything about it.“

Anon

   My line of thoughts about dogs is analogous. A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones. And their passing moods may reflect the passing moods of others.

Sherlock Holmes

   The little boy was making a manful effort to lead a large, shaggy dog. ”Where are you taking him?“ he was asked.

   ”I don’t know yet,“ the lad replied, ”but when he makes up his mind where he wants to go, I’m going to take him there.“

Anon

Dogs really are a man's best friend. It is so unfortunate that people do not always know and understand the best way to train a dog. If a dog is trained well from the very beginning, you can be sure of a long and very happy relationship. I really recommends SitStayFetch so you can make sure you do it right. Please do not make the mistake of doing the wrong thing unknowingly and with the best of intentions. Get SitStayFetch and make sure you give your loving compannion the best traing without harming him by mistake. SitStayFetch covers it all

Download SitStayFetch now. Access is instant.